My heart is breaking

I think we are going to have to put Doc down. I have been fighting it; I have been in denial, I think. Having tried to kill the neighbors' dog twice, being unpredictable on the leash and around Rowan...I just don't know what to do. Sunday night D had me convinced it was the best thing. As of Monday morning, waking up (from very little sleep) with his little warm body laying up against me, it didn't seem right at all. I've been trying to convince everyone that I could just walk him, and that he would become a better dog. I don't even know what to think anymore. I wish I didn't have to feel this way.

I asked D if we could take him to the beach this weekend for a last hurrah, to run free. I think it may not be the *best* idea, since I likely will spend a great deal of time crying. But I would be doing that anyway, and at least he'll get to enjoy himself.

Stop the world, I want to get off.

Ho Hum

I don't have anything exciting or happy to share, but I am sick of looking at my old blog entry. :)

This morning, I took Doc for a nice, long(ish) walk in the neighboring subdivision. I feel good for having exercised, but still like crap about the dog situation. I can't bring myself to get rid of him, but I understand that he can't roam around our yard (or the neighbors' yards, more importantly!) anymore. I pray that I can keep up with exercising him so that I have a continued argument for keeping him as part of the family. We met with the neighbors last night, and they were very gracious (serious, and wanting assurances, but gracious). D and I haven't talked again about it (he went to bed almost immediately after we returned home), and I suspect he's not happy with my decision/stubborness, but I've got to give Doc a chance.

Sigh. Sometimes I don't like being an adult.